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A
jaundiced world
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The summer of 2002 I was taken ill. Just
days from my MA Part I finals, I suddenly had a servere bout of
jaundice. Even though I regained health soon, I had to miss my exams.
The result was that the next year around I had to give 9 papers at one
go- that is another story, however. After getting well, I wrote a little
memoir concerning the first hospitalisation in my life I remember.
Written in July 2002, just after the football World Cup 2002 ended, this
little memoir was gather dust in a obscure corner of my harddisk. I now
bring it under the bright sunshine of your gaze under Web Diary, unsure
where else to put it. |
The very word jaundice brings visions of
yellow. The face is yellow, the nails are yellow, the urine is yellow and
the world is pale. You are confined to the bed for a long, long time and you
pine for warm sunshine and a stroll down the beach with your special one
(assuming that you have a beach and the special one). The cause of the
illness is very curious. Technically it is a physiological condition rather
than a disease, and is brought about by (you would be surprised to know) a
lazy and voluptuous lifestyle. But you cannnot bet on it. As a hospital
nurse told me some days back- malaria is not always caused by biting of the
vicious mosquito only. It can occur without any cause. Likewise jaundice.
Like in my case.
Okay, I grant it that for the past many
weeks I was doing less of exercise, what with exams overhead. I was confined
to my room for the greater part of three months slogging over numerous pages
of gibberish that is your inevitable diet if you have the misfortune of
doing MA in English Literature. Needless to say I was exercising my brain
more than I had occasion to exercise my brawn. Still I found irregular
occasion to pull at my dumbbells (even thought the barbell attracts rust and
cobwebs), and saw with glee as a few more muscles found prominence. There
had been a plan of going to a nearby seaside resort, Digha, after the exams,
and I was preparing my biceps to display through a sleeveless vest at the
beach. Add to that I am one of the most athletic and sportive idiot in my
class. So why me? I mean, I was lazy a bit and maybe even voluptuous by
Gandhiji's standards, but there are scores of fatties in my class who don't
even bend down to touch their toes in a week. Why me!
And it came like torrential rainfall and
American sex- wham, bang, thank you mam! One day I was healthy and wise, the
next day I visit college and my friends tell me I am unhealthy and unwise,
that my eyes are yellow, that I had jaundice and that I would die. One of
them jumped up in glee saying that I won't be able to give my exams, exactly
seven days away. I came home devastated, more at fright at the prospect of
wasting three months worth of slogging, than the prospect of the sick bed. I
watched Brazil somehow making it to the final beating the valiant Turkey at
the World Cup Football 2002 semi-final, and then I went to the doctor, who
promptly told me what I feared. And the diet now, yuk! Boiled vegetables,
lemon and fruit juice and boiled water. The next day the doctor was
apparently surprised at my bilirubin count (well, that's the stuff which
gives you jaundice). While in a normal person it should be about 0.75, in my
case the measuring needle went drunk and gave a nonsense number of 15.6!
Next day to hospital. And you know what that means. You go to a hospital,
the doctor takes one look at the report and he tells me to go to bed- in the
hospital. The frightens me further- young man, if you want to give the exams
then it is at your own risk. I cower, mumble words and flop down. At evening
he comes again, now donning the cap of a philosopher, and says- this is the
prime of your life. If you take proper care at this stage, you can enjoy all
your life. If you take good care of yourself for the next few days, you are
okay. Otherwise. The good thing is that he was modern and did not restrict
me in my diet anyhow. All he said was 'eat and sleep'. Apparently the
disease which you acquire by laziness and voluptuousness is cured by the
same as well. It was a very curious but welcome homoeopathic treatment. And
I am happy to say that by the end of the fourth day I was cured. My
bilirubin came down to 2.x. And I was promptly discharged.
The reason I wrote up all this
is to benefit you from my experience. The word Jaundice is associated with
many false beliefs. It happens when somehow your yellow bile production is
way above the normal, your liver becomes weak and digestion is improper, and
as a result you wilt away very soon. The traditional wisdom says that since
your liver cannot work properly in jaundice, you must be given easily
digestible food. Invariably this means less pressure on the liver, but also
less nutrition, and prolongation of your malaise. Here comes the modern
treatment. Eat anything and everything. Eat rice, wheat, noodles, milk,
potatoes, sweets, eggs, fish, chicken and meat and what not. Eat and sleep
for a few days. And then get up and play football.
July 2002.
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